Saturday, December 15, 2007

Words I Hate

The Internet spawns linguistic evils at perilous rates. This is an on-going list of words I have encountered that devilish syllabic constructions:

0) Blogosphere -- what the hell does this even mean? The sphere of blogs? The Internet isn't a sphere, it's a series of tubes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Series_of_tubes. What's worse is people think it is respectable. The verbal vomit that is 24-hour news channels on cable -- CNN, FoxNews, MSNBC -- all have the same self-important spewage -- (getting lost with emdashes yet?) seem to think this garbage is a useful description of people that write messages like this on the Internet -- as opposed to writing code for determining the configuration space of a hexgonal robot using motion primitives based on arcs as I should be doing. Why do blogs have to have their own sphere? Isn't it journalism as well? Can't they just refer to the article? This word incites anger in my spleen it is so terrible.
1) Webinar -- I only recently stumbled across this abomination when Intel sent me an email. I almost took a pickaxe to my computer.
2) 1337 -- 1337 5p34k 15 3v1| b3c4u53 n0w wh3n3v3r 1 533 7h3 numb3r 0n3-7h0u54nd 7hr33 hundr3d 7h1r7y-53v3n, 1 5m1|3 1n51d3. H0w3v3r, 1'm 0n|y r34||y 4 f4n 0f numb3r5 7h47 4r3 p4r7 0f p4773rn5. My pr1m4ry 0b535510n 15 pr1m3 numb3r5, 7h0u6h b1n4ry numb3r5 4r3 b34u71fu| 700 -- 1337 15 n317h3r, 50 17 5h0u|dn'7 m4k3 m3 h4ppy |1k3 7h3 7w1c3-d41|y F1b0n4cc1 71m3 0f 11:23.
3) Bloggernacle -- Holy Fuck! I can't believe I had to type that. Actually, I didn't type it, the vomit that I project across the room when I read the word gracefully managed to press just the right keys so as to keep my fingers virgin from such an atrocity.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

um i kind of like the word "blogosphere". although "webinar" does suck and should not be repeated EVER. semi-related tidbit: yesterday i really wanted to use the word "largesse" for some reason. good word, that.

Unknown said...

http://xkcd.com/181/

Anonymous said...

I hate ginormous:
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/ginormous

Now officially part of the vernacular, could "hugantic" be next?